Creating a new vision of the Mother + Daughter Connection.
An invitation: Join me and my daughter Jaymie in a joyful creation of an alliance of mothers and daughters.
The desire of bringing together Mothers + Daughters has been fed by my experiences as a daughter and as a mother. The purpose of the Mother + Daughter Connection is to bring like-minded moms and daughters together to share fun and expanding experiences that will create a community of support and encouragement and help foster our connections with our girls. A community that empowers both mother and daughters and cements our mother-daughter relationships.
My theory is to “grab them while they are young”. Make time for them, have fun with them while they still adore us and create a connection that will sustain and thrive throughout our lives. One of the secrets of staying close with your daughter as she grows up, is simply finding ways to continue to have a good time together even when her desire to be with her peers begins to eclipse her desire to be with her family.
I also believe that we don’t have to do this alone. Making new friendships with moms who have children of similar ages has the amazing benefit of creating an informal source of support. Maintaining a solid, healthy connection with our daughters will best help them grow into empowered women.
My Story: As a mother of a young girl I am always thinking about how I can provide my daughter with opportunities where she can make her own choices by creating the best environment she can possibly have to launch her own dreams. This is all encompassing from her education needs, nutrition, activities, our home environment, toys, books, clothes, friends, teachers, family, electronics, medical care, and travel—you get the idea. The possibility there might come a time when this loving, vivacious girl who now shares absolutely everything with me will close off and want nothing to do with me is too painful to imagine. I did not have a close relationship with my mother, my teenage years were tortuous and I am determined to change that dynamic with my daughter.
The Problem: Our culture assumes that it is normal and natural for a daughter to separate herself from her mother in her teen years. “Just you wait!” they say. “When she hits puberty, she’ll become a stranger.” they say.
Why is it OK for this to happen? To close off the relationship at the absolute most crucial moment it is necessary??!! I deeply believe it is for no other reason than a lack of courage and a supportive community of “elders” to support each other and each other’s children. It takes Courage on a mother’s part to stand firm when it’s most difficult. Courage to love your daughter unconditionally that you never stop trying to connect. Courage to love instead of judge when she needs you most. Our daughters need a community of women to grow into and the tenacity of our love!!!
How can we sustain our positive and loving relationships with our daughters?
How can women find the support they need to do the tough work of mothering?
The Solution: A new norm. The solution is not about you doing more or that you are not enough as you are. Instead it’s about getting the encouragement and companionship you deserve as you do one of the hardest jobs in the world.
One connection at a time. I have created a calendar of activities for the upcoming year. It is my commitment to create opportunities for joy, expansion, education and connection. The core of the activities is geared for children 6-8 years old. The solid, loving bonds most mothers have with this age group combined with a girl’s curiosity and emotional openness at this age make it an effective moment to fortify your relationship. By making this Mother + Daughter Connection the norm, I believe we can circumvent the expectation of separation. I so hope you can join us!
-Karen L. Gruber